phaxing wilosophical

i dont know

whenever I get bad feelings about a relationship, it invariably goes to hell in the proverbial handbasket.


if there is a constant in my love life, it is whenever there is a period of absolutely no contact, say they go to college (jenn) or go on a family vacation for a week (sarah), the relationship just falls apart when contact is resumed.

one thing I cannot stand is people who are depressed until they start getting sex on a semi-regular basis. sex is NOT that important in life.

im not sure I believe in that statement, but it is one of my sayings. maybe I said it cause I was jealous.

or i said it to impress the chicks

what chicks

I dont know why I let myself fall in love again though. after the whole sarah thing I said I no longer believed in romantic love and id never be in love again. but I guess I was lying to myself to help the healing process.

or I was just saying that to be a martyr and pick up sympathy from the chicks.



what chicks



I think my problem is that I dont know what romantic love is. never experienced it, thought I did, but isnt love s'posed to last forever? and every time I thought I was in love, it fucked over and burned away...leaving me with the scars...



the scars. funny I should use that phrase.


maybe I should take a photo of my arm & scan it, just so you know why I thought that was amusing.



8:14pm, 12/30/96