what the fuck target didnt hire me i guess 3 years of experience in shipping & receiving isnt good enough i guess i have to be a high school student with absolutely no job experience to get a fucking job out here its just getting more and more aggrivating i need fucking money i have NONE what do i need to buy, you ask? ENTERTAINMENT! it is so fucking boring out here i need money so i can get gas so i can drive to where the little entertainment is arcade, movie theatre, bruders coffee house and i need the money to buy said entertainment i need books magazines beer cigarettes music games and a hardware upgrade in the far off future i cant fucking survive on around $5 a week i get from my parents im applying at the worst possible time; all the college kids grabbed all the jobs before i even arrived and now it looks like i can get a job when school starts again but that wont work cause to make money i need time to actually work and working plus school killed me; i made a decision to have work be the priority when i was at TRU and going to ACC, cause i needed the money with the current schedule at Southeastern,  im at school mon-fri 8:30am-2ish that leaves the evenings to work 3 till 10 only seven hours during the week maybe 8 hours on weekends but i want to keep my saturdays free for relaxation & homework so a grand total of 15 hours a week at $5 an hour makes $75 a week minus taxes $50 ive done calculations on my bare minimum spending per week gas, cigarettes, food $25 that leaves $25 extra my average entertaiment is around $60 a pop thats magazines, music, computer games if i break it down to a once-a-month boredom killer budget; $17 for one cd every two weeks; $34 a month $24 a month for magazines (The Net, Next Generation, PC Gamer) $50-60 for pc games, maybe once or twice a month $6 a month for films monthly minimum for entertainment: $114 a month! with $25 a week in petty cash that makes $100 a month for entertainment maybe itll work BUT I CANT GET A FUCKING JOB 2 years at a library, 3 years in retail not enough experience what the fuck i am NOT working in the food service industry fast food/restaurant/grocery store personal reasons; my ego doesnt let me work the "little people" jobs id get massively depressed and my already lower-than-normal self esteem would plummet to suicidal level so what the fuck can i do? rob a bank... on a lighter note this is the new page design everyone uses black backgrounds (or all the modem melting bells & whistles) so im trying to do something different something more akin to my bizarre personality at least i dont have to pay for this...

July 14th