i do not even know where to begin...
so much has happened in the past four days
i cant think of anything easily
i have six weeks to move out
my parents bought a house in iowa
im going to get an apartment with trevor & rhiannon
its odd to think
a month ago
i barely knew them
but now
theyre my closest friends
long nights drinking
trying to disgust each other
with sexual horror stories
and sexual horror truths
we've all been brought together
by dennys
and lack of sex lives
and love of coffee & smokes & beer
funny isnt it?
just finished rama ii
and im feeling VERY philosophical
im thinking
that finally
my life is going in the right direction
im going to break the umbilical chord
thats held me to my parents for so long
ive made more emotional growth
in the past month
than any other time
in my life
and things just keep getting better 8>
i have to get up in six hours
house showing
im doing toms show at school
talking about game systems
blah
the only real mental dilemma i have right now
and its not really a dilemma, just something to think about
is rhiannon
im not sure
but sometimes i have romantic feelings toward her
but its like a distant memory
it comes & gos with such subtlety
that i cant phrase it
she was playing with my hair monday
but im thinking it was just cause my hair is cool (heh)
and last night
we were sort of holding each other
im not sure why
at least, i know why i was
i dont like being alone
i need someone to hold me from time to time
im not sure why rhiannon did though
im not really putting much mental energy into it
pratially because im worried about fucking things up
shes a good friend
and i dont want what happened before
(the beth saga)
to happen again
and also
like i was telling trevor when he told me about him & angie
"let nature take its course"
whatever happens, happens. you shouldnt worry about things cause its not good for your health
these pages might go down in six weeks
i could transfer them to geocities
but the journal entries would stop, or at least slow considerably
(not like they're updated regularly now 8> )
so they might be down for a year
until we get an apartment
until we get a computer
until we get an isp
but still, thats all in the future
ill jump off that bridge when i get to it
ah well