vivid dreams of self justification i had a rather vivid dream on the 12th. lessee... i dreamt i was young, like 13 years old. there was this basketball-sized court, surrounded by a wheat field. i was in a kind of recess-style group, playin around. there was a teacher/counsellor/supervisor/whatever there and it was me, age 21.75 (right now) the 13 year old me was plying with nondescript kids around that age. then the field was invaded by jock-types (age 13), supervised by a stereotypical jock-coach (like the ones in high school) all us non-jock 13 year olds hid in the fields suddenly we're all in a courtroom setting (13 year old non jocks, 13 year old jocks, coach and me age 21.75) the coach has this long list of my questionable behavior, trying to group me into the "troublemaker" mold, trying to suppress my spirit, free will, creativity, etc. all the "charges" were little event from my real youth which i look back on as questionable behavior after all the charges are read, and interpreted as examples of problem behavior by the coach, the 21.75 year old me elaborates on every charge in a different way, justifying my behavior in each event. and the way the 21.75 year old me explained it, it made sense.  perfect sense. im still looking at the dream, a day later. i dont usually have vivide dreams; i barely remember them, and the few that i do remember have never involved me, at any age, let alone two of me at different ages. (im thinking the fact that there were two of me from two different time periods was influenced by the fact that i finally saw 12 Monkeys) one thing i figured out though im starting to accept my past behavior, instead of attacking myself with it. im justifying myself in my own eyes, which i think is vitally important to continued growth as a sentient being (i dont use the term human being because i resigned from the human race a long time ago) weird, eh?