5/18/98 right now in the moment let the game come asunder everythings being thrown back into my face everything that happened a year ago is spinning right back and hitting me in my messed up nose, but all the snowballs of the past have a different spin a slight alteration, a slight aberation, but still the same essense and force as those projectiles that came before my entire life events have become ouroboros the snake eat self continual eternity repeat history entity makes one look back and re-evaluate the previous experience and see how, with the similar things happening again, how much I myself have changed and I have changed for the better?  for the worse? its impossible to determine just let me say that I have changed ive been looking in the mirror lately, and im growing older my face has sagged a bit more the bags under my eyes have gotten larger im finding grey-white hairs tearing through my red-gold-brown mane proof that ive lived, unlike many my age yet so like those my age that I associate with the purgatory is almost over then I can finally begin my life the way I want it to be lived